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I can’t stop watching this video of Dr. Brene Brown, who set off to study connection between people. In her research, Dr. Brown found that connection can’t be studied without bringing in love and belonging and worthiness. It just comes up.

Here’s what she found: There are two types of people —

1.) those who have a strong sense of love and belonging and

2.) those who struggle for a sense of love and belonging.

And the only difference between these two groups is this:

People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging.

So why is this important to your business? Because I believe that connection is a big part of your business. Because the patterns that emerged out of Dr. Brown’s research showed what these “wholehearted” people, as she calls them, had in common was a sense of courage — the courage to be imperfect. It takes courage to put yourself out there every day, to make connections, to be imperfect, to let people “see” you.

The other things wholehearted people have in common are the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because you can’t show compassion to others if you can’t first be kind to yourself; and lastly, they had connection as a result of authenticity — they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were. These are things we talk about and around in business, and wish we saw more of.

And one other thing the wholehearted had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful.

I hope you enjoy the video.

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I have thoroughly enjoyed Connie Ragen Green’s challenge to write 30 blog posts in 30 days. I’ve gained a new appreciation for my blog throughout this challenge, and for the value of writing and posting consistently. So I’m declaring right here and now my new commitment to post to my blog on a more regular basis — at least once and hopefully two or three times per week. This got me to thinking about the other commitments I’ve made to myself and my business — my big mindset shifts — and this seems like a good time to share them.

1. I’ll be responsible for my own results.

It sounds so simple. You may think, “Of course I’m responsible for my own results.” Or do you really think the economy is responsible for your results, or your clients, or the government?

There is a huge shift in the US, where I live, away from truly being responsible for ourselves, and most of us are guilty of it to some degree.

We see it on the news all the time. Many in our country expect the government, their employers, their parents, and others to take care of them. This didn’t start until the Industrial Revolution when people started working for companies, and the companies started taking care of employees.

Before that, if you needed food and you lived in the US, you went out and plowed a field. If you needed money, you sold a horse, or did a project for a neighbor. This isn’t so different than what’s going on in other areas of the world, even today. But are some of us just a bit too willing to wait for an answer from someone else rather than to go out and plow the field like our great-grandparents did?

What does this have to do with business? A lot.

It’s tough in business now, for some of us. A lot of people, and companies, have tightened their buying. But you are in charge. You may just have to find a different field to plow, or a different tool to use.

I take responsibility for my own results.

2. I’ll make careful choices, and choose differently than others.

We make hundreds of choices every day, many of them unconscious. You brush your teeth without thinking about it, you choose what you’ll eat for breakfast. It’s easy to let life just pull you along — to just drift along on autopilot.

The same thing can happen with your business, and you just do the same things over and over. I’m committing to some new and different choices.

I won’t unconsciously follow the crowd, or just drift along, or keep doing the same things because I’ve always done them — because my decisions determine my results.

I’m going to make careful choices, and choose differently than others.

3. I’ll get out of my comfort zone.

We’re often told to be cautious. “Don’t reach too high, you may fail.” How many times have you heard that, or “You can’t do that, something may go wrong”? Usually it’s said by a well-meaning friend or relative, trying to keep us safe.

But anything I’ve ever done that was worth doing was out of my comfort zone. Learning how to catch a mooring point in very high winds after blowing out the main sail in the British Virgin Islands was out of my comfort zone. The first time I got up in front of a large group to give a branding presentation was out of my comfort zone. Starting my business in a city where I only knew a handful of people was definitely out of my comfort zone.

I remember my dad telling me that I could be anything I wanted to be, and I believed him — and I didn’t want to let him down. So I kept reaching. Now, if I don’t feel a little bit scared by something I’m doing, I figure I’m not growing.

I’m going to continue to do things that take me out of my comfort zone.

4. I’ll surround myself with people who are where I want to be.

We’ve all heard that we are the sum of the five people we hang around with the most. Well, your business can become the sum of the five companies you admire most if you study the way they do business.

Check out and comment on their blogs, follow them on Twitter, study their websites and print literature, read their press. Learn how businesses where you want to be do business, get under their skin, and their “business” will rub off on you.

I’m going to look for businesses that are where I want to be, and study the way they do business.

5. I’ll remember that not everyone will like what I do.

Your business has to be authentic to you — and you can’t please everyone. If you try to, your business will be very bland. It’s important to remember that not every customer is right for you — you need to find those who align with you, who are a good fit for you.

This has to a lot to do with positioning — when you choose a position, when you decide to put a stake in the ground, it naturally excludes some things and some people. With positioning, you’re saying “This is what I am,” or “This is what my organization is,” which in effect, also says “This is what I am not.” A lot of business owners have a problem with this — they don’t want to exclude anyone or any segment in their marketing.

You need to remember that when you do take a position, and you start to have success with it, there will be nay sayers, and detractors, who will criticize you. Expect it. It’s going to happen. Don’t let it sway you or make you second guess your direction — stick to your guns.

I’m going to remember that not everyone is going to like what I do or support my success.

That’s it. Those are my five commitments, my mindset shifts, in addition to my commitment to posting regularly in this blog. The idea is that by posting them here, they’ll stay more at the top of my mind, and I won’t slip back into my old habits and my comfy comfort zone.

And now that I’ve told you, you can help keep me honest.

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Most entrepreneurs are way ahead of big business when it comes to being close to their values, and I’ll bet you have a really good idea of what values and philosophies you’ve based your business on — am I right?

You decided when you started your business that it was going to fit you, and be a good match for the way you live your life. But do you really use your values to help guide you when making decisions for your business? Doing so consciously can make decisions easier, lower your stress level, attract your ideal clients to you, and help you build your expert brand.

Try it and see Begin right now to consciously act, speak, behave, relate, and communicate in ways that represent your values, and watch what happens. Be purposeful and representative in how you present yourself and your business — be aware. For example, if one of your values is that “family comes first,” bring it forward. In your conversations, when you talk to customers, partners, vendors, anyone you come into contact with — your family values should be apparent. When making presentations, when doing the actual work, represent that value. When setting up the systems of your business, plan them around setting aside time for your family. Over time, this way of thinking will become a part of the way you do business.

Decision making becomes easier Decision making becomes easier when your values are defined. As entrepreneurs, we are always looking for opportunities — and sometimes we get opportunities that we’re not too sure about. Looking at your values and really considering them will give you great insight and the knowledge and understanding to be able to say, “Yes, this is a great opportunity for my business (it matches my values),” or “I’ll pass on this. It’s not for me (it doesn’t match my values).” This may surprise those around you who say, “What!? Dude, this could be huge — what is your problem?”  Your answer: “It doesn’t line up with my core values and purpose – it’s not what we’re passionate about.” It’s not the direction you’re going. It doesn’t fit you. And you only have to look to your values to know whether it does or not.

It will help you stand out to your ideal client Your values can be very visible to your clients and customers, as it should become the way that everyone in your company acts and speaks. This can be part of your “pull” strategy, a differentiator, and the way you attract clients to you.

If one of your values is to be “friendly,” and if friendliness truly permeates everything you do, it will be noticed by clients and prospects. You can’t be friendly and not have it be noticed and become part of your company’s reputation.

You’ll also be able to judge your marketing and communications — advertising, brochures, speaking, website copy — for “friendliness.” If it doesn’t look and sound friendly, you’ll know it doesn’t fit your values. These values can become filters for all your promotions.

Aligning with your values is a great way to bond with your team Bringing your values into your business also works several ways with your team, all for the good. Your team members should share and embody the values you’ve introduced, which will be a big help in recruiting and hiring decisions — be sure to look for common values during interviews.

You should also represent your values when relating to your existing team — these are not just external values. Be friendly and authentic with your team, and let them know what your true values are. Find out what theirs are. There isn’t a better way to bond a team together than to live your values at work — people are not just looking for a place to pass time, they’re looking for a place to belong. Notice I’m not advising you to act a certain way, but to be what is the truth for you — you can’t make this stuff up. That means there will be missteps along the way of course, but if you’re on the level and you’re sincere, your team will understand, and you’ll all be the better for it.

Align your systems, too When setting up systems for your business, whether internal or external, they need to fit your values, too. If “integrity” is one of your values, then your systems should have integrity — or they should be friendly, or whatever they need to be to fit your values. You’re starting to get the picture, right?

Aligning your business with your values helps you to know what fits you and what to pass on. Sometimes knowing what to say “no” to is very, very valuable.

The bottom line with all of this is authenticity. If you live your values, and use them to help you make decisions, and represent them in your actions and your interactions with people, you’ll have a cohesive, stable base, people will know what to expect from you, and you’ll be building your brand. You’ll find yourself to be much less stressed in the long run, because you’ll have a structure to hang your business on, and it will fit you. You can tweak it and refine it as you and your business grow — and it will deepen over time. You’ll find yourself letting go of the “should’s” and doing what feels right for your heart and the soul of your business.

You’ll hear people describe you and your business in certain ways that will make you proud, because your values will shine through.

And you’ll find that true success comes from who and what you’re being, rather than what you’re doing.