I am.
One of the things that always used to make me feel small was Talking Big. Lots of people do it, and I used to, too. No more. I had to stop because I didn’t know what I was talking about, even to myself.
You know what I mean. I define “Talking Big” when someone says something like this:
“To thoroughly sculpt a representative company image, the expertise of an accredited graphic design firm is necessary in propagating a refined and consistent corporate message.”
Huh?
No kidding. The above is a statement from a real web page. It’s on the internet, so it’s published, and I could tell you where, but I won’t.
Or how about this one:
“Neoclassical economics explicitly does not deal with abundant inputs.”
Again . . . huh?
No kidding. I will tell you that the second one is from Chris Anderson’s highly touted book, The Long Tail, because he really ought to know better. He’s not writing for Ph.Ds, or attorneys, or the government. He’s supposedly writing for you and me, about business on the web.
Do you talk like that? Do you want to be talked to like that? I didn’t think so.
Talking Big makes people feel icky
People who talk big will say things like this to you in person, or they’ll say it on their website, or they’ll say it in their books and materials, but it all has the same effect — it makes you feel icky. Sometimes it makes you feel a bit intimidated, a bit “less than.”
And the crazy thing is, this Big Talk is usually from someone who wants you to buy from them, or wants you to respect them, or follow them like a guru or something.
I don’t get it.
And it doesn’t work
Here’s the thing, Big Talkers: If you Talk Big at me and I don’t understand you (and I don’t) (and I’m not stupid), then how in heck am I going to know enough to take action and do what you want me to do?
Furthermore, if you make me feel small when you Talk Big, or “less than,” or intimidated, why the hell would I even want to?
I’m really not willing to read your stuff two or three times to try to figure out what you mean.
Big Talkers waste my time
I’m so, so, so tired of Big Talkers. So tired that I just find them silly any more. And instead of feeling small, I now just feel like they’re wasting my time. And a bit sad that they’re not able to get their point across in plain language that real people can understand.
So the next time you come across a Big Talker and start to feel a bit intimidated or icky, don’t. Just stop right there. Put your hand up. Walk away. Close the book. It’s his fault he can’t make himself understood, not yours.
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Marcia Hoeck helps people talk about their work and how they help people, among other businessy things. Sign up for a complimentary Instant Insight Laser Coaching session.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
When I saw you write “Talking Big” I first thought you meant big goals which is something I think you should do. You should have huge goals and you should talk about them.
But talking complicated is useless, you don’t sound smarter and no one understands what you are saying.
Think big, use small words ;)
Daniel M. Wood recently posted..30 Pick Me Up Quotes for a Bad Day
Ah, Daniel, thanks for the clarification. I’m with you — I love that kind of big talk! In fact, as you point out, talking about big goals is one thing that helps them become real.
I like the way you put it: “think big, use small words.” That sums it up very nicely.
Thank you!
M
Okay, I’m a recovering big talker. It was a subconscious thing. I didn’t even realize I was doing it a lot of the time.
But I was (and still do sometimes).
So how do we get over it? How do we get better at shelving the $3 word and using the rest of the lexicon – er, I mean language? :-)
And how do we knew when we’ve gone too far? the LAST thing I want is for people to think I’m talking down to them, or dumbing-down my content. Suggestions?
Lisa Robbin Young recently posted..Webadventure: 90 Day Challenge, Day 1 – Setting Parameters
As another reformed Big Talker, I’ll admit the hardest thing is just catching yourself — as you say, Big Talking can become subconscious. That’s why it’s so dangerous!
I think it’s best to just go cold turkey, and to aim on the side of talking too plainly. No one has ever accused me of that.
You asked for ideas — here’s one: put a rubber band on your wrist. It will bother you, so every time you see it, remind yourself not to use big words. That will keep your attention level up.
Then, when you catch yourself being pompous, snap the rubber band. Your body gets a jolt, which ties into the thought of the Big Talk. Do this a few times and pretty soon your brain says, “I’m not going to use those words anymore — if I do, she’s going to HURT me!” Then all you need to do is look at the rubber band, and pretty soon you won’t need it. An old therapy trick, and it works for most things like this.
Good luck, Lisa! And let me know how it turns out, k?
Will do. Thanks for the suggestions. :-)
Lisa Robbin Young recently posted..Living In The Crux
The point is well taken but there are people who grew up with a different language skills implanted on them through the years by parents, school and even by their social circles. They find it difficult to adjust although some are trying. The others are just big snobs! If you come across the latter, then you are justified to leave!
Tony Scott recently posted..OSHA Issues New Laboratory Safety Guidelines – With GHS Info – Safety Training Thursday
It thought that I read somewhere that in order to communicate effectively, we are supposed to talk at a grade four level. I try to do that in just about everything I do (could be because I have kids) and it seems that no one has problems understanding what I say.
But it really ticks me off when people do try to use big words to come across as smart or superior – sometimes I just want to give those people a smack.
Lucy Chambers recently posted..Best Ultrasound Technician Training Online
Hi Tony,
Good point. I agree some of us have had big talking “trained” into us — but we still need to pay attention to how our communication comes across. Don’t you agree? So I think we can, and should, unlearn it.
Hi Lucy,
Yes! Welcome to the club.