Everyone’s been afraid these past few months, to some extent. If you don’t have at least a bit of fear, then maybe you’ve been living under a rock. Or you are a rock.
Here’s what I think: fear is normal. It’s natural. It’s legitimate. And we all have plenty of reasons to be scared — our stock market nest eggs have been wiped out, our customers have left, jobs have been lost in record numbers, and watching the news can put us in a cold sweat. (I’ve given it up all together. When my husband watches the news I put my fingers in my ears and sing, “La la la la la la.”) All of this bad news makes it almost impossible to concentrate on anything else but “it.”
In a New York Times article that was published in December 08, neuroeconomist Gregory Berns, M.D., Ph.D., who directs the Center for Neuropolicy at Emory University, wrote:
“. . . fear — whether of pain or of losing a job — does strange things to decision-making. . . worrying [takes] energy. It means that these extreme responders had less available neural processing power to deal with other tasks.”
I don’t want to concentrate on “it.” I hope you don’t either. I’ve gathered some suggestions from various places that have been helpful for me, and I’m posting them here in the hope that maybe they’ll be helpful for you, as well.
1. Don’t beat yourself up about it. That will only make it worse. So you’re scared sometimes. Realize that your fear is only temporary; it’s not permanent. Then don’t let it become permanent.
2. Decide to be happy some of the time. You can do it. Just decide. (This will help with #1: when you’re not afraid, you can be happy.)
3. Don’t surround yourself with negativity. Turn off the TV. Don’t talk about how bad things are. Don’t hang out with negative people. Doing these things doesn’t make the situation any better, and can in fact make it worse — at least for you.
4. Keep moving. Fear paralyzes and encourages retreat. If you keep moving forward, you can push it away. It may be difficult to “soldier on,” so don’t keep going in the same direction if you feel that way. Try something new, take a class, investigate, look for different opportunities. Dr. Berns says, “I don’t care what your business is, but if you think it will eventually come back to what it was — your brain is in the grips of the fear-based endowment effect. What I am doing is looking for new opportunities. This means applying neuroscience discovery to realms where it hasn’t been used before.”
5. Don’t let a lack of information be a cause for paralysis. “But this is all I know.” “But I don’t know how to do that.” “But I don’t know what to do.” All true, perhaps. But where are these statements getting you? It’s always a good time to talk to people, to consider your strengths, and how you might use them in different ways. Information is out there. It doesn’t hurt to go look at it. Who knows what you’ll find? At least it will get you moving (see #4).
6. Count to 10 before reacting. My mother used to say, “Wait three days,” but I’m not going to ask that of you. Whenever I wanted to do anything impulsive, whether it was to buy something expensive or tell off one of my girlfriends, my mom would advise me to wait three days. It was so difficult, but my mom was right — many times, the situation looked entirely different in three days. These days it’s especially important not to jump to conclusions. Counting to 10 ought to be enough.
7. Be still. I’m going to get all woo-woo on you for a moment. You know that voice in your brain telling you to freak out? The one reminding you how awful things are? You can’t hear the brilliance that’s inside you with that thing yapping at you all the time, and the answers come in silence. If you don’t meditate or do yoga or have a practice to still your mind, now’s the time to start one. It can be as simple as sitting calmly and breathing slowly for a few minutes a day. But do it. You’ll be surprised at how much it can help.
Okay. Now. Action steps:
a.) print this post and tape it on your wall
b.) vow to take at least one of the seven tactics to heart now before you forget
c.) let me know how you’re doing!
